This blog is written by My Loving and very caring wife Jan R Mepstead
for RiseabovE Resources , Bridge builders and Peace Makers!
One Spoonful at a Time !!!!
“How does an everyday normal family end up with a child that has anorexia”?
This is a question I ask my self everyday,
the answer is nothing!
How can anyone answer this question?
There is now answer!
Anorexia does not care, if you are rich, poor or famous,
It is one of those sneaky disorders that creep into your lives almost over night and with almost no notice. It was like that in our case, our daughter was born a healthy 6 lbs 12 oz normal delivery, with no complications and grew up the same way, no problems, the odd bump and scratch along the way, and she did very well at school,with plenty of friends and 3 sisters to play and interact with.
We are just an ordinary family with ordinary family values, with loving and caring parents, that have ups and downs and struggles just like everyone else, we also have a large extended family that brings support and love!
Things started to change when we shifted from a country school to a city school, the change happened from grade 4 to grade 5, she seemed to be coping quite well as she had her younger sister with her in the grade below but I found by the end of that first year they were both wanting to change schools, so we enrolled both of them in another school. she seemed to be likening it there and fitted in quite well up-until year 7, that’s when things seemed to change!
Our daughter fell into the ‘popular group’ these girls were all the same, blonde hair and attitudes about looks, image and popularity! My husband Aaron and I noticed She was starting to worry about what she ate and how she looked, she started to get quite sporty and when it came to mid year we found that she had started to loose some weight. (Starting weight 50.7kg)!
When asked, her answer was always the same,
“I just want to get healthier mum,” that was anorexias excuse, that she just wanted to get healthy and her eating habits changed more and more rapidly and she began just wanting salads and no carbs we went along with it for a while but then we noticed that she was becoming obsessed with it the routine of the afternoon was to come home from school and go out side and run up and down the back yard for at least an hour, we had a wii fit and balance board with a program in it that weighed you and set a program for how much weight you wanted to loose. this routine was about an hour every afternoon.
Anorexia had taken over our daughter!
We began to noticed that the obsession was becoming stronger and stronger, to the point that if we needed to go somewhere in the afternoon she would try and change our minds to do it another day so she could do her routine and when we objected to her demands she would get very angry not want to eat and sometimes violent towards us and want to hide in a corner or under a blanket in the fetal position, this went on for another few weeks, family members started to notice a difference as well, her sisters and grand parents.
Their was also a withdrawing from family events and if we were watching a movie in the lounge room with chips and chocolate She would be in her room doing something else and stopped playing with her younger sister.
The war was on! Every meal was a battle ground until we could not take it anymore I rang a lot of places to try and get help but Queensland has not got a lot, however, I did find the EDA– Eating Disorder Association, and just by chance they were having a meeting in Brisbane. They have a once a year information meeting for various types of eating disorders where Dr’s, nurses phycologists and the Maudsley foundation were represented as guest speakers.
They were going to be talking to families about these disorders, also families of people going through these disorders would be their to speak of their experience and pain.
At this time we did not know if anorexia had taken our daughter but I had spoken to the lady from The EDA and we had a positive thought outcome that it was so. I told Our daughter that I thought she had anorexia but of course she said, “no I don’t!” But she did,
My husband Aaron and I went on the computer and found so many web sites on it and girls showing pictures of themselves almost proud of what they looked like and most of there skeleton appearance looked just like our daughter, but she denied that she looked anything like that at that point we knew that we had to take her for help!
I explained to Her that we were taking her to the EDA seminar and explained to what the meeting would be about and that she would be meeting girls that have eating disorders.
I remember the morning quite vividly, we were going into the unknown, we were all extremely nervous, we took Our other daughter with us as well because she was also needing to understand what was going on. When we arrived, everyone was so nice, I had spoken a few times to a lovely lady in the foyer who had put me at ease, she split us into a couple of groups one group went outside, the other stayed inside.
I went with the outside group because the girls with the eating disorders were going to tell there stories and I wanted to listen to them. Aaron stayed with the other group inside. This was the parents telling there stories and Dr’s were giving food ideas on how to get nutrition into the body’s of the kids with such disorders.
When We were outside we were with two girls, one had anorexia and the other girl had bulimia – it was so bewildering to sit there and here their stories, it was then I knew our 11 year old little girl had anorexia.
I was confident it was not bulimia as bulimia’s more about eating a lot then vomiting it up over the guilt of the food where with anorexia is more about restricted food intake and full on exercise.
After hearing the other girls stories I realised we were only at the beginning of this horrible life changing event, we then went back inside to here from a dietitian.
The information was very interesting, just to here what someone suffering anorexia needs to eat just to keep them from getting sick due to not eating the right foods certain foods like turkey and nuts are good for the brain but a good meal plain from a dietitian is the way to go.
We then broke for morning tea it was interesting to see what the girls suffering from bulimia and anorexia ate and what Our daughter ate which was just some fruit the other girls ate the sandwiches and Our daughter actually hardly even ate the fruit. I took this opportunity to talk to the dietitian he observed how She was eating and did see a familiar pattern very much like anorexia we then went back to the meeting room and heard from a nurse who told us the first things to look for a temperature is no less than 35 degrees and the pulse to be no less than 45 BPM, these were the main signs that meant someone is in a serious medical situation.
we noticed She was so cold that day and we did not know that when all of your vitals are low that you will be very cold.
I had noticed over the weeks that She had been getting more rugged up and putting more jumpers and hot showers to the point that when she got out of the shower she was red from the shower being so hot in her body she even said to me one day mum there is hair on my stomach.
When you have starved your body of fat and winter comes, if you don’t have enough body fat to keep you warm that your body will grow hair on your stomach on your face and not just fine hair it is like monkey hair and it is very noticeable especially on your face and if you are a girl, that will stay like that until you put enough weight on to keep your body at a good temperature.
The next main speaker was a man who works with the Maudsley program, we did not know what that was at the time he explained what the Maudsley was all about – it is an outer hospital program that deals with eating disorders through a counsellor and dietitian team.
My Husband and I did not know it then, but this man, would be the one that we would be seeing a couple weeks later.
Very confused, we still did not know if Our daughter had anorexia or not, we went home and we said well we will take her temperature but of corse I only had a very old thermometer, one from when they were babies so I said to Aaron I will cook tea and you go and buy a digital one from the chemist. While he was gone I thought I would take her pulse and I am not a Dr, but I found it very hard to find her pulse and when I did I could only get 45 beats per minute I checked it several times because I knew that your pulse needs to be at least 60 beats per minute, I then took Our other daughters pulse and she was 80 BPM and so was mine so I knew that was bad.
Aaron came back from the chemist so I said I will take her temperature so when we took that it was only 34! Then remembered what the nurse said, that if they were both low then you are in trouble I said to Aaron we have to take her to the hospital now we decided to take her after dinner but She still would not eat it so while Aaron tried to get her to eat I rang 13 health (13 432 584) and talked to a nurse and told her what her temp and pulse was and she said, “take her straight to the Marta hospital!”
The hospital was an hour a way so we bundled her up and took her there, when we walked into the emergency ward there were heaps of people so we knew it would be a long wait, we walked up to the counter and said, “We think our daughter has anorexia and her temp and pulse were low!”
They took her vitals then weighed her, she was only 39 kilos, they then told us to have a seat, with in moments they came over with a heart monitor, blanket and hot milo for her then they asked us to come into the room so they could do an ECG on her heart it was so low like 45 they then told us they were admitting her straight away they put her in a glass room and had cords for blood pressure and heart monitoring then a drip was added, it was all happening so fast I got really scared they said only 1 of us could stay the night so I did. I was not going to leave her now, that night was so frightening ! Dr’s and nurses were coming in and out all night the heart monitor was going off all night, at one stage crystals heart rate got down to 34 and a couple of nurses came in I just prayed all night for my daughter to be ok, that morning they transferred her to the ward and she was officially diagnosed with having anorexia nervosa.
2-7-11 Mater Hospital
34.9 Temp At 21:00
50 Pulse rate
sugar level 3
Temp 35.6 at 22:00
In a bed 22:15
Child and youth mental health services
She was told in the ward if she did not eat she would be getting the gastric tube up her nose, she did eat she only had half an hour to eat it and she did i stay with her for eight days until she was discharged the doctors at the Marta were great they had councillors and dieticians and they all came to see her every day the councillors were from the C.Y.M.H.S unit which is the Children’s Youth Mental Health Services. It was this ward at the children’s hospital That our daughter was going to be admitted.
This is an extension of the parable Jesus taught about the sower or farmer explaining the different types of ways people hear and receive the message or good news of the bible.
When I say an extension I mean to say these 5 verses only recorded in Marks gospel ( gospel simply means Good News) emphasise the POWER of the word of God that it is alive meaning if we apply what we hear it has the power to increase our knowledge and as this increases so does or understanding of what it means as it goes deep into our hearts and minds we increase in faith wisdom and understanding of the kingdom of God and the importance of knowing and following Jesus Read it for yourself.
Parable of the Lamp Stand
Then Jesus asked them, “Would anyone light a lamp and then put it under a basket or under a bed? Of course not! A lamp is placed on a stand, where its light will shine. For everything that is hidden will eventually be brought into the open, and every secret will be brought to light. Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.” Then he added, “Pay close attention to what you hear. The closer you listen, the more understanding you will be given —and you will receive even more. To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given. But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them.” (Mark 4:21-25 NLT)
Found in the Old Testament
Isaiah chapter 40 verse 31 says:
Those people that put their hope and trust in The Lord will find renewed strength they will RiseabovE on wings like eagles ,they will run and not get weary, and walk and not get tired.
Welcome to RiseabovE ResourceS! bridge Builders and Peace Makers
This is a blog helping all people going through different challenges in their daily lives to RiseabovE their situations by reading about other fellow humans that have gone through or are themselves going through the same pain, and these experience will hopefully help you get through the valley and back on to high ground.
This it a God fearing Jesus following Ministry that gathers real life stories of pain struggle and with the help of Prayer and Faith the the power of the Holy Spirits Power see the glory of God the Father shine light onto your situation with the belief of restoration and healing.
1st official post is the post written and being written by my wife Jan about our now 14 year old daughter who had anorexia.
As time goes on and The Lord leads me we as a ministry will post more life stories to help lift the pain and stress of life an that we may all RiseabovE our current trials and it’s our prayer that each person reading and contributing to this blog will see the glory of the Father shine through, and the peace of God flow.
Found in the New Testament
Book of John Chapter 3 Verse 16 says:
God loved the people of this world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who has faith in him will have eternal life and never really die.
And let’s not forget the next verse 17 says;
God did not send his Son into the world to condemn its people. He sent him to save them!
(John 3:16, 17 CEVUS06)